


So Close

by lostdragonbeliever



Category: Trollhunters (Cartoon)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Confrontation, Hidden Feelings, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Lets be real we need more sappy fics in this world because its just, M/M, Pining, Song fic, They get One (1) happy moment, dance fic, good kush, its gonna be sad as fuck but theres a happy ending i promise, so here's my sappiest shit to date
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:48:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24046927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostdragonbeliever/pseuds/lostdragonbeliever
Summary: Two teens find themselves outside of a dance: before now, faux rivals. But what other feelings can be realized when no one is around to watch, nothing to lose, and a good song to dance to?-2020 Birthday Gift to Trololololoz (SillyWriterKidz)
Relationships: Jim Lake Jr. & Steve Palchuk, Jim Lake Jr./Steve Palchuk
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	So Close

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Trololololoz (SillyWriterKidz)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SillyWriterKidz/gifts).



> The original concept for this fic was posed in late 2018, but never finished. Therefore, for the Jeves Overlord's birthday, I thought it'd be fitting to finally flesh out and finish the lovely concept into a short three part fic. The second and third parts are under editing and final drafting, and should be posted within the next week.   
> -  
> To Bloody, thank you for being a constant friend. You inspire me to do better everyday, to work hard for my passions and what I love, and I can never thank you enough for it. Thanks for enticing me enough with the simple idea of a rarepair that we could bond over for this long, and I wish that we can do so and more in the future. 
> 
> Happy Birthday, my dear friend!
> 
> -
> 
> The song in the fic, and what inspired it is 'So Close', from the Enchanted soundtrack, sung by Jon McLaughlin.

The auditorium doors clunked shut, muffling the loud pop music that blasted inside. Reaching up to loosen the tie that seemed to tighten itself, Jim stepped outside into the courtyard. Small puddles pooled here and there from a recent drizzle, but his only interest at the moment was the formal-dressed teen, sitting on the edge of a curb. Jim’s tennis shoes made soft treading sounds as he got closer.

He was only a few steps away when the other noticed him. Blonde hair ruffled back into place as Steve looked up. Star basketball player, one of the most popular guys in the school, decently solid reputation. And he looked  _ tired _ . 

“Whadd’ya want, Lake?”

Jim was startled by the sudden question, taking a second to answer.

“Just- saw you leave early. Looked kinda…” he waved his hand in a ‘not so good’ motion. “I wanted to make sure you were,” he breathed out. “ _ Okay _ .”

A moment of a pause before Steve snorted. “Eh, well. Been worse. Been better.”

Jim hummed. “I get that.”

The sitting teen cupped his cheek with a palm, twirling a small leaf in his other fingers. “Needed some fresh air. Thinking apparently needs that, I’ve been told.” 

There was a silence in that Jim raised his eyebrows, just enough for Steve to notice. “Yeah, yeah. Crazy, I can do that.”

“No, no- that’s not what I meant.” Frowning as he fiddled with the edge of his jacket sleeve, took a deep breath, and did something he wouldn’t have thought to do at all a few months back: sat next to him.

Jim didn’t quite catch the flash of emotion on Steve’s face, it was too fast. “I meant, what happened?”

A short snort; he was still holding onto the leaf. “Came here with some friends and they had their own dates. I didn’t want to be a fifth wheel.”

Half-nodding, Jim leaned down to fix his shoelace. It took a moment to register the question that had been asked back, “And what about you?”

His eyes darted between the concrete beneath his feet and Steve in his peripheral. “Me? What about me?”

“Didn’t you come here with your posse? I thought you three did everything together.”

Shrugging, he pulled a knee up to his chest to rest his chin on. “Yeah, usually. Claire though had to help a friend with their dress, and Toby’s been swooped off somewhere with Darci.”

Steve seemed to toss the concept in his head a little, replying with a small, “Yeah, I can see that,” that made Jim want to laugh; it was a mundane movement, it didn’t make sense why it stuck out in his mind.

“Otherwise, no. I’m as alone as can be right now.” 

That earned Steve furrowing his brow, shaking his head a little. “I thought you and Claire, though…?” The end of the question hung in the air, the blond teen making a gesture along the lines of ‘and so on.’ Jim felt comical as he had to think about it, mouth forming a perfect ‘o’. “No, no! We’re just good friends!”

True, there were still unsung feelings, but he and Claire’s discussion after a play practice made things clear: she wasn’t interested in him like that. If anything, she wanted to be friends, and Jim could live with that. Romantic feelings for her would fade, hopefully turn into something different, better.

Steve took that answer though, making a soft ‘ah’ noise as he focused his gaze back out into the street. A quieter song began to play from the auditorium, just loud enough to hear but no lyrics. It made the moment feel less connected to reality, like they’d slipped into a small pocket alongside each other, just for a little bit.

“It’s good that you’ve got them both.”

Jim kept looking up at the distant streetlight, but nodded. A thought occurred to him though; it nagged on him in the few minutes that seemed to drag on for hours until he placed a hand on the concrete, to lean back- and met another, warm and soft.

Instinctively Steve pulled the hand away, making him fall back, onto his elbow and sucking in a quick breath of surprise. 

“Sorry-ah, god, I didn’t mean to… What I  _ mean _ to say is-”

Pushing himself back up and dusting off the elbow, Jim offered an awkward smile. “It's fine, Steve. It was my fault, really.”

The answer did little to suffice, but he didn’t continue on with the string of apologies, hanging off the edge of his mouth. Instead, he seemed to slowly cross his arms, drawing away, closing up. Jim spotted it, the whole moment a little more melancholy than it was a second ago. 

“You…” A sharp intake of breath, as Steve avoided the unseen gaze. “Just surprise me. A lot.”

Jim couldn't help the quick, “I do?” before biting his tongue. Maybe he wasn’t supposed to ask. He should have just let it drop-yeah, that’s exactly what he should’ve done. But Steve shifted his feet closer, and sighed. “Listen. I don’t normally say things like this, so I’m gonna be quick: You surprise me  _ constantly _ .” 

Weak lamplight caught the edges of Steve’s face, highlighting his words. “You’re not exactly the easiest to pin down. One moment you’re quiet and thoughtful and it seems like absolutely  _ nothing _ can drag you out of it, and then the next you’re lit up like no one’s business! Not gonna lie, it almost was worth losing a tooth over to get to see that happen.”

His face hardened, like he couldn’t figure out what came over him to even say what he did, but the sudden raw emotion that had fueled it made Jim let out a quiet breathy laugh.

“Did I ever say I was sorry for that?”

“No, but it’s fine-”

“No, I really shouldn’t have. Even if you were kind of being a jerk, you didn’t need to lose a tooth over it.”

Steve put his hands up, ready to defend that, but it fell apart instantly. “ _ Ehh _ , you’re right on that one.” He added a quick, “Sorry,” to the end.

“Hey, I’d be fine moving on from that if you are!” It comes out more enthusiastic than planned, yet Jim doesn’t regret that.

Straightening up, taller now, Steve turned to face Jim better. Mirroring, they finally met each other’s eyes. Nothing more than muted colors in the dim light.

“Okay, Lake. Let’s do that.” Clearing his throat, he extended a hand. “Hey. My name’s Steve Palchuk,” a pop of his collar, pulling up the signature smile that he wore like a badge. “But I’m sure you’ve already known that. Play for the Arcadia Moles’ basketball team, and let’s face it-  _ devastatingly _ jaw dropping. Hold your fanfare.”

The hand was offered again, and Jim took it. His own hand felt small in Steve’s grasp, wide fingers and warm palm. They seemed to work into a handshake though; he feared it would be too cold for the blond, but there was no outward sign he noticed.

“Jim. My full name is James Lake Junior, but everyone calls me Jim. Don’t call me James, or this is going to be a shorter relationship than you think.” A half-laugh rumbled up from Steve’s chest, and it made Jim’s dumb joke feel all the more welcome. 

“No, seriously, okay! What do you like to do for fun?”

Steve’s bravado smile faltered. “Whaddya mean? I just said-”

“I mean, like-  _ aside _ from basketball. What are your hobbies, interests, things like that outside of it?”

He got more of a forced smile that time. “I… I still don’t get what you’re asking.”

Crossing his legs, Jim ticked off his answer off his hand. “Like, let’s say for me, I like cooking- baking’s  _ kind of _ the same category but also not- uhhhh, bike riding. Watching Gun Robot. That kinda shit.”

It looked like he was about to get some form of a response, but a few times, Steve went to open his mouth, something crossed his mind, and he pulled back into a thin lipped frown. Raising a brow, Jim leaned forward until he was sure he’d fall face down onto the concrete: but the blond kept just out of eye level. “Hey, you alright?”

A low groan was his response, running a hand through his hair. “You keep asking that and I’ll have to start charging for it.”

“Aw. I thought we were just starting to get on the friend level. Darn.”

Unable to see Steve’s face from the hand pinching the bridge, Jim found the response in the half hearted chuckle. “It’s nothing.”

Pausing, as if doing what he wanted to would disrupt whatever was going on, he nudged a gentle shoulder on shoulder. “If you wanna talk about it, you can. It’s not like I’ll tell anyone anyways.”

When no immediate response came, he turned back out to the view of the street. A lamp buzzed with old energy. A few moths flickered around it, early for the year.

“I guess no one’s really asked me about that before.”

“About…?”

“I dunno-” Steve gestured vaguely to himself. “About that! What kinda stuff I’m good at, besides being an athlete.”

Jim nodded slow, letting the statement sink in. As his mind wandered, he vaguely heard the end of another song. The dance was going by, he thought. He should probably go back soon. His friends were probably wondering where he went. A stolen glance at Steve Palchuk’s face made up his mind. 

They could wait a little longer, couldn’t they?

“Well, how about we find out?”

“What?” Now he had Steve’s attention, shrugging as he stood and shook off any loose gravel off his pants.

“You said you don’t know, so let’s figure that out. If you want to?”

The offer was open ended, Steve could just as well leave, deciding if this wasn’t worth the possibility of being close, nearby to him. They were still at separate ends of the social ladder, of course, but Jim secretly hoped that maybe, just maybe, he had caught just enough attention to attract his blond classmate into this idea with him.

A sigh. Steve stood up after a moment, facing him with a hand on hip and tie loose, giving him both the strangest and the warmest look he’d seen directed towards Jim.

“What have you got in mind?”

Though faint, he could hear the dj’s attempt at introducing a slower song, opening notes beginning to play. It was on the spot, impulsive, but it grabbed his mind and wouldn’t let go.

“How about a dance, Palchuk?”

-

“Mind if I lead?” 

Shaking his head slightly, Steve watched; his partner facing him head on. Slender fingers took hold of his own, leading his right hand up. “I’m a little out of practice, uh- so sorry if I step on your foot.”

He was more sure that it would end up with some disaster on his part, and was about to point this out before noticing Jim taking Steve’s left hand- and placing it on his waist. It could’ve been the blond’s imagination, but he could’ve sworn the hand stalled for a moment, before going up to rest on his shoulder. He really was glad it was darker out- the blush he felt crawling over his ears grew.

_ ~ _ _ You're in my arms / And all the world is calm~ _

_ Keep it together, Steve _ , he had to remind himself. If anything, he could get through this moment and move onto the next. He could ignore the way his nerves seemed to burn in an oddly pleasant way with- Worry?  _ Fear _ ? No, no no no. This felt too different, not quite like any other emotions he’d grown accustomed to. 

_ ~The music playing on for only two / So close together _

_ And when I'm with you / So close to feeling alive~ _

Jim spared him a look, only making the new emotion multiply. A slight squeeze on his right hand. “It’s a little difficult at first, but it's a rhythm, so we’ll just go slow, okay?” 

“O-okay.”  _ What if he really  _ **_did_ ** _ have two left feet? Patterns were a lifeblood, he had to know them on a court. Why should a courtyard with a dreamy song feel any different? _ The answer nagged at him, but he pushed it down again.

_ ~A life goes by / Romantic dreams must die~ _

“Since I’m leading, you just do the opposite direction I’m going. So you go back with your right-” The sharp movement of his foot obeying must’ve made Jim blink, but it didn’t deter him. “Yeah, like that. Then I move forward, to match you.”

To match. Hm. That sounded nice. 

_ ~So I bid my goodbye / And never knew~ _

Jim stepped forward, filling in the space, maybe a hair closer than before. Steve focused on the way the light hit the start of a drizzle, now making a slow forming pattern on their jackets. 

“Okay, now, you go back diagonally,” the weight of a shoe tapped on his right. It was sharp and felt strange, but the way it went alongside Jim’s own movements didn’t feel wrong. So he followed.

_ ~ _ _ So close, was waiting / Waiting here with you~ _

“Do you dance like this a lot?” Was the question that fell out of Steve’s mouth as now his partner stepped back, inviting him to follow. In hindsight it garnered him biting his lip, but Jim shook his head. “No. Not a lot. I mean- I dance  _ sometimes _ , but only really when it's- nevermind.”

Tilting his head, Steve tried to catch his eye. He seemed to find anything else more interesting, so he didn’t push it. At least the slow rhythm was getting a bit clearer to follow now. 

_~And now, forever, I know_ _  
__All that I wanted / To hold you so close_ _~_

“My mom, she’s the one who taught me how to dance, like this.” 

Steve nodded a little, noting another thing about the mysterious doctor mom he’d barely met. Every inch of information he learned about Lake- _ Jim _ . Jim. That was a bad habit he wanted to stop. Made things impersonal. 

_ ‘Why do you want to make things personal?’ _

_ ~ _ _ So close to reaching / That famous happy end _ _ ~ _

No no, what really made him think sometimes was all of the little factoids that he’d learned from a distance that were now shining in the dark, with every step; it was becoming pieces in the grand puzzle of his dancing partner. 

_ ~Almost believing / This one's not pretend~ _

“She….she sounds nice.”

Jim nodded, and fell back into silence as the song drifted on. The way he seemed to know the tempo, he must know it well. Steve stepped back, wondered where he learned the song. Maybe he’d get to learn that story too.

_ ~And now you're beside me / And look how far we've come~ _

“You’re picking this up remarkably faster than I thought, honestly.” The light was reflected on Jim’s face for a moment, and Steve caught the edge of a smile on his lips. 

“Maybe I  _ am _ a natural dancer after all.” He joked, a cautious smile drawing out more and more of a grin on Jim. At least he was earning a smile; it made the whole scenario less awkward.

_ ~So far we are / So close…~ _

“Maybe! I think you’re just a fast learner. Or you lied, and you’re a really good dancer, and just wanted to test me.” 

Steve’s answer shot out fast. “ _ No! _ ” Maybe too fast, judging by how quick Jim’s attention was drawn to it. “No… I mean, I didn’t lie. Not about that.” In truth, he’d never had anyone to teach him. Dancing was sort of a forbidden territory, the rules of he didn’t want to dwell on too long.

He didn’t like the concern that flashed for a moment over Jim’s face, but he focused himself on avoiding it. It didn’t fit here, he didn’t want it. 

“So, you said your mother taught you. But have you ever danced with anyone else, besides...”

“Besides you?” Jim shook his head as he guided his dance partner along. “Nothing like this. You’re the first.”

_ Why would you let me be the first? _ , went through Steve’s mind.

Jim stepped back a little farther, pulling his hands up and out to hold. “Here, I wanna teach you something. Just go with it.”

“What’re you-” His sentence was cut off, as Lake spun on a heel, under the bend of his arm, his hair spinning along with the new movement. In a smooth motion, their hands joined again. He must've been a little surprised, or just the abrupt movement brought out some childish shimmer of joy. Despite that, Steve smiled. 

Even with the few inches difference, Jim pulled him along into a spin of his own, having to bend down some to not bump into his partner. “See, you are a natural! Who would’ve thunk it?”

_ Not me. Not until now. _

“Hey.” His voice was quiet against the rain, soaking into their shoes and flattening bangs against foreheads. The rain didn’t matter though- what did matter, was a slowly dawning fact: things would be different. He couldn’t ignore that now, or later. It would just keep rising back between them. Things couldn’t be the same as before, and he didn’t want them to be.

His tongue felt like lead, but he forced it to work out the words he wanted spoken. “Just so you know, if… if things were different, and, I dunno, you’d  _ asked _ me to come to the dance…” 

_ Now or never, Palchuk. Do it. You can say it- _ **_No I can’t. I can’t I can’t I can’t_ ** _ -I want to. Just SAY it.  _ **_He’ll know, he’ll KNOW_ ** _ \- Just say it and you’ll never have to again. _

“With….  _ you… _ .”

_ There it is. C’mon, the hard part isn't over yet. I can do this. _

“And if I’d known it’d be like this, I-I wouldn’t have said no.”

_ ~Oh how could I face the faceless days~  _

There. It was out.  _ He _ was out, and he was vulnerable, and unable to hide from it now. Worst case scenarios grew in his anxious mind, getting more wild and terrifying all the same. Some ugly emotion washed down his spine, as seconds seemed to take hours to pass. 

And yet, somehow, they were still dancing. Slower, as Steve had started to speak, but now it was more of a shuffle.

_ Oh god, why wasn’t Jim responding? _

Breath caught in his throat, all he could do was just barely meet the other teen’s eyes. Jim himself seemed a little lost for words. Instead, he held tighter onto their shared grip. 

_ ~If I should lose you now?~ _

“I… I thought about asking you, actually.” Moved closer, closer than ‘friends’. “But I didn’t think you’d be into…” The words unspoken rang out.  _ ‘Into me.’ _

Into  _ Lake _ , into the boy with dark hair and unlimited amounts of stubbornness. Into the quiet kindness that seeped into everything he touched, the unrelenting way he had wriggled and budged a way into his thoughts, consuming them. Into the way that made him feel; if Jim himself could change like he had that Friday that felt like ages ago now, into something new… it gave him a sense of hope he could as well.

And who couldn’t be into that?

His body moved of its own accord. Slowly, carefully, sliding his hand from Jim’s waist up by his back. When there was no refusal, he leaned in closer, resting his head against his partner’s own, dark hair tickling his nose. He was so lost in the moment, it registered after a moment that Jim settled into the new position, hand in hand and chest to chest.

_ ~We're so close to reaching / That famous happy end _

_ Almost believing / This one's not pretend~ _

The rain fled down around them, but Steve nor Jim seemed to notice. All that mattered was the song, and the close touch, and the way everything felt. It felt like a dream. It felt like a sweet dream that Steve wanted to sink into, and never let go. The whole thing, it felt so  _ good _ . It felt so good and intoxicatingly wonderful, warmth rising and consuming him piece by piece.

_ ~Let's go on dreaming / For we know we are~ _

Shocked out of his daze, his foot slid on a slick patch. Steve had barely a moment to react, a short yelp before he felt hands reach out and take hold, lightning fast. The next thing he knew, he was looking up at Jim.

Jim’s face was barely more than a few inches away. If he moved, they’d brush noses; breath caught in his throat at the thought.

_ ~So close, so close~ _

He had to be imagining- there was no way this was real. He had to be imagining the rain that framed the form of the dark haired teen holding him up. He had to be imagining those blue eyes that were so,  _ so _ close, that seemed to not only look back into his, but radiated a deep emotion he could finally put a name to; it was uncontrolled  _ affection _ .

All this and a thousand other feelings flew through his mind, but ultimately halted. Instead, Jim’s free hand drifted up and knuckle traced the edge of his cheek, a ghost of a touch. His nerves lighting up like a bonfire, he was  _ sure _ it couldn’t get much better than this.

Hushed, only for the blond’s ears, a whisper drew out from Jim’s mouth, singing along with the song’s final verse. 

“ _ And still, so far _ …”

Steve wasn’t imagining anymore.

This was real. This was real, and that was the best part. He felt like he should’ve been floating away, he felt so light. One of the only things holding him to Earth was the way Jim looked at him and the hand cupping his cheek.

Now, so was the lightest press of skin on skin: Jim offering a small kiss, caught on the corner of Steve’s lips. Just far away enough that if he truly didn’t want it, he could refuse. It was gentle but there, the choice. Jim gave him  _ choices _ and he  _ adored _ that, it sent a crazed thrill up his spine.

An unstoppable grin grew under the kiss. It broke off, leaving an itch for more where the warmth was still felt. God, he was so  _ warm _ . How was one kiss so warm?

Jim’s eyes flashed a hint of confusion, before things clicked, and he smiled in his dork-ish way.  His brain was full of fluff; sappy, cozy fluff. Finding words was difficult, but Steve managed to, once more. 

“Hey now,” his voice trembled a little, no matter how hard he tried to keep it even. “You can finish what you started.”

Breathy was the laugh that came out of Jim, making his heart flutter. 

Steve learned one more thing.

Jim’s kiss tasted like how he imagined rays of sun poking out after a good long rain would.


End file.
